‘What is the matter with
thee, O Abu Said? Why doust not speak to thy friends?
Art thou possessed by a jinn?’
‘It is Nura...’ whispers Abu Said
-- and after a while, when the hot coffee has loosened
his tongue, he tells us about Nura, a girl from
Najdi town of Ar-Rass (he mentions her father's
name and it happens that I know him well). He had
observed her secretly over the garden wall when
she was drawing water in the company of other women
- ‘and I felt as if a glowing coal had fallen
in my heart. I love her, but her father, that dog,
wouldn’t give me his daughter in marriage,
the beggar - and said that she was afraid of me!
I offered a lot of money as her dower, also a piece
of my land; but he always refused and in the end
married her off to her cousin, God's curse be upon
him and her!’
His strong, dark face is illuminated from one side
by the campfire, and shadows which flicker across
it are like the shadows of a hell of torment. He
cannot bear to remain sitting for long; driven by
his restlessness, he jumps up, busies his hands for a
moment with his saddle, returns to the fire and,
suddenly, dashes of into the empty night. We can
hear him as he runs in wide circles around our camping
place and shouts, shouts:
‘Nura’s fire burns me! Nura’s
fire burns in my breast!’ -- and again, with
a sob: ‘Nura, Nura!’
He approaches the campfire again and runs in circles
around it, with his kaftan fluttering like a ghostly
night bird in the light and darkness of the flickering
fire.
Is he mad? I do not think so. But it may be that
out of the dark recesses of his soul rise up some
primeval, atavistic emotions - ancestral memories
of the African bush, the memories of people who
lived in the midst of demons and weird mysteries,
still very close to the time when the divine spark
of consciousness changed the animal into man; and
the spark is not yet strong enough to bind the unchained
urges together and to weld them into a higher emotion...
For a second it seems to me that I can really see
Abu Said’s heart before me, a lump of flesh
and blood smoking in the fire of passion as if in
real fire -- and somehow it appears quite natural
to me that he should cry so terribly, cry and run
in circles like a madman until the hobbled camels
raise themselves, frightened, on three legs...
Then he returns to us, and throw himself on the
ground. I can discern the repugnance in Zayd’s
face at the sight of such an un restrained outburst
-- for to the aristocratic disposition of a true
Arab there is nothing more contemptible than such
an unleashing of emotions. But Zayd’s good
heart soon gets the better of him. He tugs Abu Said
by the sleeve, and while the other lifts his head
and stares at him with blank eyes, Zayd gently pulls
him close to himself:
‘O Abu Said, how canst thou forget thyself
like this? Thou art a warrior, Abu Said... Thou
has killed men and often have men nearly killed
thee -- and now a women strikes thee down? There
are other women in the world besides Nura... O Abu
said, thou warrior, thou fool...’
And as the African groans softly and covers his
face with his hands, Zayd continues:
‘Be silent, O Abu Said... Look up; thou
see the lighted path in the heavens?’
Abu Said looks up in astonishment, and I involuntarily
follow Zayd’s pointing finger and turn my
eyes to the pale, uneven path that runs across the
sky from one horizon to the other horizon. You would
call it the Milky Way: but the beduins in their
desert wisdom know that it in nothing but the track
of that heavenly ram which was sent to Abraham when,
in obedience to his God and in his heart’s
despair, he raised the knife to sacrifice his first
born son. The path of the ram remained visible in
the heavens for time eternal, a symbol of mercy
and grace, remembrance of the rescue sent to heal
the pain of one human heart -- and thus a solace
to those who were to come after: to those who are
lonely or list in the desert, and to those who were
stumble, weeping and desolate, through the wilderness
of their own lives.
And Zayd goes on, his hand raised towards the
sky, speaking solemnly and at the same time unassumingly
as only an Arab can speak:
‘This is the path of the ram which God sent
to our Master Abraham when he was about to kill
his first-born; thus God showed mercy to His servant...
Dost though think He will forget thee?’
Under Zayd’s soothing words Abu Said’s
dark face softens in childlike wonderment and becomes
visibly quieter, towards the sky trying to find
in it an answer to his despair.
... The night is far advanced, but we continue
to sit around the glimmering campfire. Abu Said
has now emerged from the raging tempest of his passion;
his eyes are sad and somewhat tired; he speaks
to us of Nura as one might speak of a dear person
that has died long ago.
‘She was not beautiful, you know, but I loved
her...’
[End of the Road,
The Road To Mecca] |